Recaps & Roundups part 47: Dungeoneer #4

Issue #4 of the Dungeoneer fanzine was published in March 1977.

"The Arcane Elders Chapter IV" by Mark Hendricks: The story switches back to Lute the Bard and Ralph the Hobbit, who spend the chapter escaping from their barbarian captors. Pretty basic stuff, not much to glean here.

"Monster Matrix": Nine new monsters are introduced here. As usual, I'll be confining these to the Judges Guild setting, and probably making them quite rare where possible.

• "Zappers" by Mark Norton: These creatures are sentient lightning bolts that are attracted to metal, and will try to destroy it. Regular items are destroyed automatically, while magic items get a saving throw. Any creature they strike takes damage based on the Zapper's Hit Dice, ranging from 1d8 to 6d8. Oh, and they have a movement rate of 100", so good luck escaping from them.
• "Arora Energy Monster" by Jim Ward: In its natural state this monster looks like a cloud, but it has the power to assume the shape of the last creature that attacked it. It also has the power to reflect any damage done to it back on the attacker. This seems to include all forms of attack: spells, sword thrusts, arrows, etc. There's some obvious fun to be had by the DM with these abilities, but the monster is mindless, which prevents them from becoming too deadly.
• "Bomb Monster" by Jim Ward: A winged bowling ball that explodes for 10d8 damage when touched. I'm not sure why it has wings, because it's never said that it can fly, but it does have a movement rate of 21 so maybe it can. After the explosion it will reform into a ball, and it can only be killed if 25% or more of its body is prevented from reuniting with the main body.
• "Vorpal Bunnies" by Paul Jaquays: I suppose it had to happen eventually. As in Monty Python and the Holy Grail they appear as cute bunnies but are in actual fact very deadly. In D&D terms, their bite acts just like a vorpal blade. This is the kind of monster that's so ingrained into nerd culture that tricking PCs with one would be next to impossible, although we might be getting back to a point where there are players who aren't that familiar with Monty Python? Is such a thing possible?
• "The Mirror Men" by Paul Jaquays: Chaotic humanoids that are made out of mirrors. They reflect light to blind their opponents, and if exposed to light for long enough can fire a heat ball that does 1d8 damage per round. If exposed to direct sunlight or other intense light, they will explode. They attack with sharp claws, and if struck for enough damage they might shatter and die instantly.
• "The Agarrett" by Tom Siterlet: This creature is a winged mutant, about 10'-12' tall, with four arms and a horn in its forehead. They're said to be a distant relative of goblins, not that there's much of any resemblance. They reproduce through their saliva, and anyone struck by their tongue must save or become a zombie-like "incubator" for their young. After 3.5 months the victim must save or be charmed and eaten by the hatching young Agarrett.
• "Ondoculi" by Cecil & Kaj Nurse: A subterranean race that has two heads, three legs and four multi-jointed arms. Some of them are clerics, and can be distracted by philosophical discussion. Some wield swords, and any Ondoculan sword has the ability to turn a creature struck by it to stone. If one of these swords is taken from an Ondoculan the magic fades after one month.
• "Golcoduli" by Cecil & Kaj Nurse: Vicious dog-like creatures with lots of teeth and the ability to breathe a short cone of flaming acid. They are kept as pets by the Ondoculi. Some of them are intelligent, and can walk upright and speak the language of their masters.
• "Dust Golem" by Tom Johnson: Dust Golem were apparently created when an "Ugly" (a kind of hunch-backed servant from earlier issues of this mag) forgot to clean out a Wax Golem Mold for a decade while it was in storage. The irate wizard turned said Ugly into a candle as punishment, but was later pleased to discover that the Dust Golem was powerfully strong, and immune to such things as charm, fireball, lightning, petrification and polymorph. A cold spell reduced the golem's AC to 3 for some reason. There's an oddity with this creature's Hit Dice, which is given as 1½d8. Does that mean 1d4? 1.5 times a d8? I'm really not sure, though I'm inclined to go with 1d4 given the Number Appearing is 2-300.

"The Room of Crocked Magic" by Paul Jaquays: This room (location unspecified) is the home of a bunch of gnomes who are happy to sell magic items. None of these items quite work correctly, and there are 20 examples given: a potion of growth that turns the drinker into a giant with an IQ of 3; leather armour +1 that weighs as much as plate mail; a potion of longevity that reduces the drinkers lifespan by 10 years; and so on. The gnomes have a wall-mounted death ray that they use as protection (which of course functions exactly as it should...). I suspect that this room is supposed to be found in a dungeon somewhere, but it would probably get more play if located in the PCs home town or city.

"Comments on Those Lovely Ladies" by Judith Preissle Goetz: In issue #2 Paul Jaquay wrote up some rules regarding female adventurers, and this article makes some objections and suggestions. The observation is made that if women have a higher Charisma where men are concerned, the opposite should also be true. Also, the author objects to the idea that women with a high Strength should have a lower Charisma. More suggestions are made regarding the relative Strength and Dexterity of men and women, as well as suggesting that women should get +1 Constitution due to having greater resistance to environmental stresses. I'm likely to ignore all of this, and just have men and women rolling the same stats.

"Metamorphosis Alpha" by Jim Ward: Jim spends a few paragraphs describing Metamorphosis Alpha and how much fun it is, which is hardly an unbiased review considering he wrote it.

"Magic, Tomes, Scrolls" by Paul Jaquays: Jaquays gives some interpretations on various rules to do with magic, including such things as scrolls, spell book, and how many spells a wizard may know. The most interesting tidbit here is that we finally learn what the Arcane Elders (which have been mentioned in a bunch of Dungeoneer articles) are: a group of nine demi-gods who distribute magic as they see fit to those who contact them through an arcane crystal.

"Tricks & Traps": This is a selection of 31 tricks and traps, as the title says, most of the being fairly whimsical. Some examples include a room that eats the intelligence of magic swords, or a mounted elephant head that shoots peanuts as missiles. Some are bafflingly pointless: a library which contain only fictional material? Another that requires a library card? I mean, why? The less said about the one that has R2-D2 and C-3PO joining the party the better. (Although it means that the cover date must be a fair bit behind the actual publication, as Star Wars was released in May)

"The Goodies Bag": Two new magic items.

• "Necklace of Warriors" by Tom Filmore: A rope with 1d10 beads attached, each of which can be thrown to summon an obedient warrior. If attacked or betrayed by their master they will seek revenge, and the DM is encouraged to play them as annoyingly over-literal when following orders.
• "Discs of Severen" by Jim Ward: The index I'm looking at says this is supposed to be in here, but there's no sign of it in the compendium of issues #1-6 that I have.

"The Pharaoh's Tomb" by Jim Ward: This is a pretty bonkers dungeon with some hefty treasure along with some very deadly dangers. There are pressure plate spear traps, rooms that fill with poison gas, rooms that fill with sand (a lot of those) and even an entire room that's full of sulfuric acid that floods out when you open the door.

I mentioned rooms that fill with sand, and that happens in every single one of the shaded rooms on the map above; I could see progress becoming painfully slow in this dungeon, to the point where it just becomes no fun to play.

As for monsters, there are plenty: mummies, displacer beasts, a rust monster, invisible stalkers, among others. If you do manage to make it to the tomb, it releases four 10th level fighters and a 30th level lich. Oh, and then there's the 25% chance of Anubis himself showing up to kill you on the way in, and a 50% chance on the way out. On the whole I think this dungeon might be deadlier than the much-vaunted Tomb of Horrors, but it's nowhere near as clever. Say what you want about the Tomb, but at least it plays fair and rewards caution.